[A light-hearted, tongue-in-cheek story. Written on my mobile phone.]
This morning, after buying a coffee and coconut bun from a local bakery for breakfast, I made my way across the parking lot towards the bus stop.
Suddenly, I noticed that I was being followed. Overhead, a flock of seagulls shadowed me. I stopped, and as many landed around me--in front, behind, on every side--I counted them. There were about 100.
I thought it might be coincidental so I 'tested' the birds a couple more times. Most unsettlingly, they kept following. Flapping, conspiring, eyeing my bun, emboldening each other, staring - getting greedier and greedier. It was reminiscent of Alfred Hitchcock's infamous black-and-white film "The Birds." If very lucky, I would get out Scot-free. At worst, I would be pecked to death. Not unlikely, I would be the target for at least one of the foul bird's droppings (which I could see and hear splattering around me on the pavement) or have my hard-earned breakfast--maybe even the coffee--torn, ripped, pecked from my grasp. Hopefully I could escape without too many wounds.
In light of my circumstances, I knew what I had to do.
I ran.
They kept following, but I eventually lost them. "Gee Mahnay," I said to an elderly lady walking carefully and slowly along the sidewalk. "Those seagulls are following me!" She laughed. "It's that bun."
Armed with this insight, I concealed the bun under my shirt and tucked in my undershirt beneath it to keep it there hands-free. It was a James-Bond-like moment. As for the coffee, I figured I could risk its being exposed.
Then, I turned on my heel and faced the birds. Some now just a few feet away, they stared back. It was a face-off.
I began, carefully but courageously, to walk once again towards the bus stop. It meant going through the crowd of birds. Was I safe? Would they be so easily fooled? How are sea gulls' short-term memories? Would they remember that I had not at any point discarded or eaten the bun, and deduce that it must still be on me? Was I at risk?
I kept walking, the seagulls still eyeing me. They shifted to face me as I walked through them. If seagulls had shoulders, theirs would have been square on me. You could slice the tension with a knife. I was a long way from a hospital, in the thick of the birds, and still a ways from my destination.
Eventually, wonderfully, defiantly, victoriously, I made it past the birds, darted across the road (looking both ways of course) and made it not just to the bus stop but, fortuitously, a waiting bus; at a red light. Just in time.
"I just got attacked by 100 seagulls," I said to the driver, proceeding to embellish the story with details of the ordeal. It then occurred to me how incredulous I must have sounded. After all, crazy people love bus travel and this man had no doubt encountered hundreds.
Then, from my vantage point just inside the door, I noticed that the bus was full. And quiet. No one was smiling, and many eyes looked, nervously, in my direction. They, too, had heard my story. They, too, had encountered bus crazies.
Every seat was taken, so I made my way, awkwardly, towards the center of the bus.
I felt alone, and surrounded--as I had amidst that crowd of bloodthirsty seagulls.
"At least I'm alive," I thought, as I sipped my coffee.
1 Sat eve ~N's b'day party 2 Sun 4pm Malkutha Bible mtg 3 Mon (1) 9:30am VT prayer, (2) 8pm ph call (NC in Australia) 5 Wed 1pm lunch (M/KW) - Mississauga 6 Thu (1) 11am mtg (JSh), (2) 1pm funeral (An.; JeNY staying over) 7-8 Fri-Sat w/ boys (~J working Fri and at shower in Oshawa on Sat) 9 Sun (1) Church, (2) poss. lunch (PY/AC) 10 Mon Kids Kapers party (stat. holiday) 10-16 Mon-Sun holiday - Collingwood (GV passed away 14/Apr) 16 Sun baby dedication - Scarborough 21 Fri MVT board mtg 22-24 Sat-Mon Winnipeg ministry trip
MAY
2 Tue 2:40pm med appt 3 Wed 12:30pm l'ship mtg 4 Thu 2:30pm video mtg (Ppls,JBau) 5 Fri time w/ TW; ~Ch dropoff/pickup (~J working) 6 Sat eve special dinner for Som/Saj 9 Tue 3:30pm video mtg (AA) 10 Wed (1) 8:30am Int'l steering mtg, (2) 12:30pm l'ship mtg 11 Thu 11:30am brunch (JMy) - Newmarket 12 Fri 8pm ~J w/ friend (NaG) 13 Sat SL w/ boys 14 Sun (1) Ppls Church, (2) 4pm neighbourhood Bible mtg 15 Mon (1) 9:30am VT prayer, (2) 1:30pm video med appt, (3) 3:30pm hosting ORU students, (4) 5:30pm dinner w/ JY/L + dessert w/ others 16 Tue (1) 11am mtg (KBr), (2) 7:30pm prayer mtg 17 Wed 12:30pm l'ship mtg 18 Thu SL w/ ~Ch 19 Fri 3:15pm ~Co's b'day party 20 Sat ~Co's b'day 22 Mon SL w/ ~J/C/C, Som/S, MG, Mp+ 23 Tue (1) 11am video mtg (Saj/I), (2) 12:15pm ph call (AA) 24 Wed (1) 9am video mtg (SM+), (2) 12:30pm l'ship mtg 25 Thu 3pm video mtg (JSh)
27 Sat (1) 11am Commencement speaker at R. University, (2) ~3pm+ time w/ V/AR+ 29 Mon (1) 9:30am VT prayer, (2) 3pm mtg DerCh - Mississauga 30 Tue (1) 10am ph call (AA), (2) 5:30pm video mtg (IsTan), (3) 8pm neighbourhood prayer mtg
JUNE 1 Thu (1) 11:30am Zoom mtg (LM), (2) 4pm mtg (VS,KBr) 2 Fri (1) 10:30am ph call (PVDW; SL w/ boys; ~J working) 3 Sat SL w/ boys and MG 5 Mon (1) 9:30am VT prayer mtg, (2) 2pm Europe call, (3) 5pm mtg/walk (YM) 6 Tue (1) 11:30am lunch (GD) - St. Jacobs, (2) 4pm mtg (AF) - Cambridge, (3) 7:30pm worship night 9 Fri ~J's b'day 10 Sat North Bay trip 13 Tue 11am mtg (DAy) (~J school trip w/ ~Co | text BD) 14 Wed 9:30am time w/ BD 15 Thu 4:30pm video mtg (Paul T.) 16 Fri (1) 9am video med appt, (2) 15-km run (Prayer Journey "warm-up") 17 Sat Prayer Journey (my own: 50km GTA bike-ride; Jessie's: 5KM) and speaking at GTA after-party 23-25 Fri-Sat poss. SL 26 Mon 2pm Europe monthly call 29 ... July 7 Thu-Fri poss. holiday in Arkansas
JULY ... 7 Thu-Fri poss. holiday in Arkansas ~8-17 SA+ in Toronto; P/H Bell likely visiting too 15 Sat aft+ baptism (Saj; NaB may be coming) 17-21 Mon-Fri Kids Kapers camp 24 Mon 2:45pm med. appt 26 Wed (1) 11am video mtg (SM), (2) 3pm Zoom mtg (SMa,SB), (3) 7pm ~J speaking at Greenhouse/Zoe - UofT downtown 27 Thu 10am video MVT board mtg 31 Mon 3:05pm med. appt July/Aug CCWM board mtg / AGM
AUGUST 2 Wed 11am video mtg (SM+) 6-12 Sun-Fri Cottage w/ O/DN+ and UB/AC - Windermere; plus Muskoka 19 Sat poss. ~J fam beach day - Brighton area 25-29 Fri-Tue MoveIn staff retreat - southern Ontario
2023+ Sep 21 Thu - MVT board mtg Sep 23 Sat poss. date of GV memorial Sep 24 Sun ~Ch's b'day Sep ~26-28 Poss. time in Lushnjë, Albania Sep 29 - Oct 6 MoveIn Europe Conference+ - Durrës, Albania Oct 21 Sat poss./unlikely date of GV memorial Oct 21-27 Dollar-a-Day week Early Nov Poss. fundraising event - Niagara Nov-Jan Poss. time in India - Goa; Philippines - Manila+; Indonesia - Jakarta/Bali; LA/San Diego
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